Don’t ever have an emergency in Cobleskill. Just don’t do it. Seriously.
On Friday last I had the misfortune to suffer a sponatneous muscle strain in my upper right thigh. By spontaneous, I mean it came right the fuck out of nowhere. I was walking to Prentice with Bubbey and Amby when my leg started feeling stiff. I figured I’d just walk it off, no big deal. Well, when I tried to walk it off there was a little bit of pain. Then there was a lot of pain. Next was me hopping on one foot trying to get to my damn food. No luck, as before I ever reached the stairs I gave up, and decided to go to the Wellness Center. I sent Amber ahead to get me some crutches. That was a mistake.
Amber came back in about 5 minutes with the news that they sent SMRT. Yes, the fact that they misspelled smart is a bad sign. It was decided that I needed to ride in an ambulance to the emergency room. Brilliant. Lights, sirens, oxygen, stretcher, the works. When I got there they wheeled me in, the whole “1, 2, 3, lift” thing you see when they move people from stretcher to bed, and then not too much for a while. I tried to explain what happened to a number of nurses, but none of them had anything useful to offer.
Probably the most useful part of my visit was that I got a couple x-rays done on my hip to make sure there wasn’t bone or joint damage. It was probably one of the more painful parts of the visit too, because I had to bend my hip to angles that are barely comfortable when I’m healthy. Better to have them done than not though.
After my x-rays were done, Bubbey and Amber came in to see me. Apparently they had been waiting there since I arrived. Had I known, I would have had them brought in earlier! We sat around for an hour and made jokes about stiff legs, and fun was had by all. Eventually they had to leave, because apparently someone had to go get Steve, and it wasn’t going to be me.
After some hours of lying in the ER, a doctor finally decides to grace me with his presence. He sat around for half of an explaination, and ran off again. 45 minutes later he returns, tells me that he has no idea why this would happen, and proceeds to tell me to do exactly what I had intended to do initially: use crutches, don’t put weight on the leg, and take ibuprofen regularly. If they had just given Amber a pair of crutches to bring to me, I would’ve saved everyone a lot of trouble.
All weekend long Steve was a total dear to me. I was definitely not as nice to him as I should’ve been. I can say that I was grouchy because of my injury, but that doesn’t fully account for it. He was nothing but helpful to me. I love my Steve so much, he’s so brave and strong. He stood up to face a terribly fire-breathing me and survived. My Steve is the greatest.
Oh, and puppies.