I need to go back to school.

I graduated from Virginia Tech with my BSc in Animal and Poultry Sciences. They gave me this neat little (ok, it's pretty large) piece of paper with fancy letters and a bunch of unnecessary words. I guess I'm pretty excited about that. I should scan it and put a copy online or something, but I don't have a scanner that large handy.

What with being graduated, I couldn't keep working at the college. My job was funded by federal work study money, and they don't give that to graduates. I am currently in the employ of a major retail chain (no, I won't tell you which one) until I can find something that is at least remotely related to my training. Ideally I'd get a vet tech job and they would help me get more training or maybe get into vet school. For now I'm just worried about paying bills.

There is someone new in my life. I'm not going to say much about that right now. We'll see where things go before I say too much more. Yes, he's cute (or at least I think so). No, I'm not going to answer any other questions right now. Perhaps I'll take the example of a fellow blogger (Hi Scott!) and refer to him here by a nickname.

My cancer is still in remission. There's not much to say there, I guess. No news is good news. I'll see my oncologist again in January, unless something else comes up before then.

I've moved into my new apartment, where I'll be living for the next year at least. I've moved in with friends of mine, a couple, one of whom cooks and insists that I at least provide notice if I will not be home for dinner. This situation is quite acceptable to me, as it results in my diet being much healthier and less expensive than it might otherwise be.

For now, life is smooth sailing. One day I'll want more than this, but for now I am content.

See, the cool thing about being in Animal and Poultry Sciences is that you actually do stuff in classes. Microbiology lab is like "Here, do a stain on this bacteria we've cultured here for literally millions of generations and we already know exactly what's going to happen if you do it right." Beef Production lab is "This heifer needs a magnet, pelvic diameter checked, and to be deloused so that she can be sold or become a producing cow next year. Watch me. You do the next one."

I have three exams this week, in horse production, beef production, and microbiology. I don't feel like I've learned anything yet! Don't they know I'm a senior? I'm old! These things take time to sink in.

I was laid-up for most of last week with what the health center doctor assured me was "not the flu." I don't care what it wasn't, it was a solid week of fever above 100°F. It was probably not helped by being out in barns on Monday and Wednesday for labs. The problem with labs is that you can't make them up. Unless you are being physically prevented from getting to the appointed location, you go to lab. So I went to my labs, and my bug raged on.

Aside from the week of illness (the first I've had since being in college) the semester is going well. I can Gram stain with my eyes closed, estimate slaughter cattle weight within 50 lbs (usually), and point out five reasons why a given horse should never ever have babies. Incidentally, the horses don't seem to mind so long as you do it in a low soothing voice and rub their chest.

Ok, well, maybe I have learned something.

I started my second semester at Virginia Tech in January. I was still in awe about finally being at my dream school. I still am. Something about it just feels right. It's like finding where I always wanted to be.

My first challenge of the year came in early April when I broke up with my partner of four and a half years. I put on a happy face about it, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard on me as I'm sure it was hard on him. We're still friends, though we don't see much of each other. We just had dinner at a little Italian place at home last week and caught up. It's still a little strange for me, but I guess things work out in time.

I'm not sure how to start talking about April 16. How do you preface something like that? The first thing I did was call my mother. I was on campus, so my roommate picked me up and we watched events unfold on TV. It's not even real on TV though. You can turn the TV off or go into the next room. In Blacksburg we were inundated with police, media, spiritual and psychological support, just more people than the town was meant to handle. I hunkered down with friends for the week and waited for things to blow over as best I could. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but for at least a day or two after the shootings I wanted to be left alone by all those helpful people. I still get people who ask about it now and then when they find out I was there. I try to dismiss it. I'm not capable of explaining what the experience felt like.

In June I found out that a lingering bump on my elbow was stage 1 lymphoma, of a particularly rare type. I've always taken my health for granted. Luckily my mother, who is a nurse, is a hypochondriac for me. My summer was spent in and out of doctor visits. One surgery and three weeks of daily radiation later, not to mention countless diagnostics, I appear to be good as new. Here's hoping I stay that way.

While I was home over the summer I made a number of close friends. It was good to have someone to hang around with when I was going through all my health issues. It's sad in a way, since I don't get to see them often when I'm away at school. I'll always come back to see them when I'm home.

August marked the beginning of the hardest semester I've ever had, and hopefully the hardest I ever will. My favorite material was in the hardest classes. You'd think that would help, but if it did help I shudder to think what would've happened if I didn't like it.

In the family, one cousin is engaged and another had a baby. My brothers haven't managed to drive my mother crazy yet. The holidays were relatively painless and the food was good. I think as far as families go, I made out pretty good.

I'm looking forward to one more semester at Tech. I'll graduate in May, and then who knows what? I'm thinking West. I'll be applying to some graduate programs in animal science, but my goal is that wherever life takes me, it's toward the setting sun. I've played with the idea of staying in Blacksburg, but I have things to do. I need to see the world. There are too many things I haven't done, and if I sit still now I may never do them. I'm probably late to the game as it is, but I need to do all those things that I will later exaggerate to my nieces and nephews, maybe children? Maybe someday. 2007 was a year of challenges. 2008 is the year of adventures.

I won't be entering vet school in the fall of 2008. I haven't decided what I will be doing yet. I feel burnt out. I'm not sure what I need to do next, but I know that vet school would be a waste of time and money right now. I feel like a year of doing something different would refresh me, and I could use it to strengthen my application.

I also feel kind of lost and hopeless. How the hell did I end up where I am in life? Why? I remember thinking when I was in high school, "If I can just make it to Virginia Tech, I'll study hard, go to vet school, everything will be awesome." Where the hell did I get that idea? Virginia Tech? Don't get me wrong, it is pretty amazing here, but where did it come from? Why vet school? I could've gone for computer science and had a useful degree in four years. What do you even do with an animal science degree? Plenty of things, I'm sure. I'll be looking for animal lab or management jobs. Maybe I'll do something with breeding. I could get along with a little field experience. Hell, I could just live in Blacksburg for a year or two. Even if my only animal work was volunteer, it doesn't take much to live comfortably in Blacksburg.

My other major plan, if not vet school, was grad school. It's different from what I'm doing, but probably not different enough. For now, I'm preparing for but not anticipating going that route. Time will tell.

I turned 22 last weekend. It was relatively uneventful. I hung out quietly with friends. I always intend to get rested on weekends, but I never end up doing it. Oh well.

Speaking of early in the semester, I'm back at Virginia Tech for what will hopefully be my last year. My schedule looks like hell, but at least I'm done by 5:30. I'll post a copy if I ever get around to making one, or else I won't.

The beginning of the semester is really expensive, and the fall more so than the spring. It makes me sad. I think I'll start working again on Monday. I ♥ my campus job.

I'll be in Blacksburg for most of the summer. Anyone who wants to visit is welcome to the more-than-ample floorspace. My lease runs through the end of August and has been paid up to that point, so pretty much I'm just sitting around until fall, working enough to keep me fed. Pretty much everything is fluid. Yup. Super exciting.

Psst! I have a secret. I just told you what it was, but you weren't looking hard enough. It's not so very hard to find. Also, one more thing which actually isn't secret, but I haven't gotten around to mentioning. Steve and I broke up a few weeks back. I'm OK. He's OK. We still talk. If you're my family, he'll probably still pop in for a visit. I'll pop in to visit some of his family still too.

I consider myself extremely fortunate that neither I nor anyone I know was involved. I spent the morning trying to touch base with as many people as possible until the phone network here became absolutely saturated. I hope that I was at least able to set up a cascade so that people wouldn't have to be worried about my safety. That being said, it's extremely difficult to place my reaction. Obviously I am not as heavily affected as those whose loved ones have been injured or killed. At the same time though, this is very jarring for everyone involved. I don't think I'll really know how I feel for a while yet. They don't tell you how to react to this sort of thing.

UPDATE 17 Apr 2007 11:21p: I have been mostly disgusted by the media coverage of this event. I think that larger and more distant news outlets get things the most wrong, and locals do the best job. CNN's article is as sensationalizing as the rest, but if you scroll down towards the bottom, Gov. Tim Kaine's remarks perfectly echo my sentiment. "People who want to take this within 24 hours of the event and make it their political hobby horse to ride, I've got nothing but loathing for them." I don't deny that there are questions that need to be asked, but there are more important things to deal with right now.

On the other side of the coin, I am deeply touched by the outpouring of support from universities and individual students across the country and abroad. There has been a huge "We are all Hokies" movement, with students wearing maroon and orange to show support. That is probably the best response that I've heard about. I'm glad that the younger generation have a grip on what's important. We're going to need it going forward.

The opener was a guy named Eef Barzelay. He's the frontman of an "alt-country" band called Clem Snide. I haven't heard the band, but Eef has an interesting sound (and I don't just mean his name.) It's quirky. He also covered a bit of Beyoncé's "Irreplaceable" and all of Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" in his own style which was interesting too. I definitely plan on checking him/them out.

After Eef went off, house lights came up and crew were running around doing those things that crew do before the main act goes on, and the crowd grumbled because that's what they do. Suddenly the lights go off and "The Final Countdown" comes on. Ben and his accompaniment on bass and drums launch into the first two songs before introducing themselves or saying anything. He made a joke that he would work the keyboard part from "The Final Countdown" into every song, and he did slip it in to the first few but then decided to skip it. He did slip it in though whenever there was a little lull in the show, and it always got laughs.

In my opinion, one of the best parts of a Ben Folds show is the audience participation. The man is as amazing a songwriter as he is a musician, including a number of very interesting harmonies. He had the audience sing backup vocals (and flugelhorns) on a few songs, which was super nifty. There was even a three-part harmony on "Not the Same."

When he played "Gracie" he started over three times from the middle plus a number of restarts right at the beginning, because people were hooting or hollering at some point. I thought that was adorable. Granted it was annoying, but I was annoyed with the audience, not with Ben. This is a song he wrote for his daughter, and he just wanted to get through it.

While I'm raving, I'll mention how impressed I was with some improv he did. He just started playing, then started singing about Blacksburg, saying that it had a distinct lack of "black... buildings." What can you say? The south isn't known for being especially hospitable towards black... buildings. He also worked in the local pub where he ate, and plugged Gay Awareness Week. Afterwards he asked if it was Gay Awareness Day or week, and said "As long as you're fighting for some time for recognition, you might as well go for a week."

So basically that was one of the top two rockinest shows I've ever seen. The other one was also a Ben Folds concert.

On a side note, guys yelled "I wanna have your babies" on three occasions, whereas I didn't hear any girls say that. Now Mr. Folds is married with twin daughters, so I'm afraid these gentlemen are going to be disappointed. It does raise the question though, do more men or women ask to have his babies?

Unfortunately, snow in Virginia seems to transform normally passable drivers into elderly grandmothers. It took me twice as long to get to class as it normally does. I grant that you should not speed when there is snow on the road, but even the hill that I live on wasn't bad enough to merit traveling below the speed limit. Over-cautiousness is as likely to create an accident as recklessness.

But maybe that's just the New Yorker in me talking.

And tomorrow on the Drillfield from 9-5 there will be some awesome festivities!!

• Shirts for sale!
• Vagina pops for sale!
• Wage gap bake sale (.75 for women, 1.00 for men) OH SNAP!
• Positive v. negative body image displays!

I guess I can't complain though, I did see it on lj

Why on earth would they do that? I understand the need to remove a portion of the leaf litter, or at least get it broken down. It keeps the grass prettier. Why on earth would they have to put that much dust and allergens in the air in the process? There has got to be a better way.

William Morva escaped custody at the Montgomery Regional Hospital yesterday. He was being held on charges of armed robbery. He stole the sherrif deputy's sidearm, wounding the officer and killing a hospital security guard in the process. He shot and killed a police officer while being pursued early this morning.

As of 11:30a all classes at Virginia Tech have been cancelled. There were rumors of a hostage situation in Squires Student Center, but they turned out to be unsubstantiated. Students not residing in dorms have been evacuated from campus, and all dorms are closed to non-residents.

I'm sitting in my apartment chatting with some friends about the situation. Charlotte, started at VT last year, had told me that there was almost no crime here. I didn't hear of a single incident of this magnitude in the 4 years that I've known Steve, most of which he spent in New York City.

What a first day of classes!

link

[UPDATE: 5:13p]
Morva has been taken into custody.