I graduated from Virginia Tech with my BSc in Animal and Poultry Sciences. They gave me this neat little (ok, it's pretty large) piece of paper with fancy letters and a bunch of unnecessary words. I guess I'm pretty excited about that. I should scan it and put a copy online or something, but I don't have a scanner that large handy.

What with being graduated, I couldn't keep working at the college. My job was funded by federal work study money, and they don't give that to graduates. I am currently in the employ of a major retail chain (no, I won't tell you which one) until I can find something that is at least remotely related to my training. Ideally I'd get a vet tech job and they would help me get more training or maybe get into vet school. For now I'm just worried about paying bills.

There is someone new in my life. I'm not going to say much about that right now. We'll see where things go before I say too much more. Yes, he's cute (or at least I think so). No, I'm not going to answer any other questions right now. Perhaps I'll take the example of a fellow blogger (Hi Scott!) and refer to him here by a nickname.

My cancer is still in remission. There's not much to say there, I guess. No news is good news. I'll see my oncologist again in January, unless something else comes up before then.

I've moved into my new apartment, where I'll be living for the next year at least. I've moved in with friends of mine, a couple, one of whom cooks and insists that I at least provide notice if I will not be home for dinner. This situation is quite acceptable to me, as it results in my diet being much healthier and less expensive than it might otherwise be.

For now, life is smooth sailing. One day I'll want more than this, but for now I am content.

I'm excited! You can tell by my excessive use of the exclamation mark!

Speaking of early in the semester, I'm back at Virginia Tech for what will hopefully be my last year. My schedule looks like hell, but at least I'm done by 5:30. I'll post a copy if I ever get around to making one, or else I won't.

The beginning of the semester is really expensive, and the fall more so than the spring. It makes me sad. I think I'll start working again on Monday. I ♥ my campus job.

The lymph node removed from my left elbow had primary cutaneous anaplastic large cell lymphoma. It is a cancer of lymph cells that exist in the skin, not of the skin cells themselves. It's not the most aggressive of cancers and we did catch it very early, so the prognosis is extremely good. I'll be doing 4 weeks of radiation therapy to be sure that no cancer cells remain in the area of the biopsy. Beyond that, I'll be watching it closely and seeing the oncologist in January for a follow-up.

I also have a related condition called lymphomatoid papulosis. The jury is out as to precisely how it works on a cellular level, but it is similar to lymphoma except that it poses little threat to my health. There are only two problems with it. The first is that it causes small lesions on my arms and legs, each of which has a small chance to metastasize into a malignant lymphoma. The second is that while there are treatments, it's currently incurable. I can only monitor it and take care of any malignancies that develop as a result.

The radiation has been scheduled so that I can go back to school on schedule, though without much time to settle in. My first appointment is this afternoon. Hopefully life can go back to relative normalcy now.

I promised that I'd do an update by today, and seeing as today is drawing to a close, I figured I should do it! The good news is that my bone marrow sample came back negative. That means that the cancer has not spread into the marrow, which would be exceedingly bad. When I think about how bad things could be, I feel afraid. I feel so lucky to be in in the situation I'm in, all things considered.

The oncologist also mentioned a slim outside chance that the lymphoma diagnosis was a false positive. That would be incredibly relieving, but also terribly frustrating. I've lost my whole summer to this. Don't get me wrong, I would rather they tell me that I don't have cancer. I'm also glad that we're going to all the effort of being sure. I just wish the whole thing hadn't happened at all. I guess that kinda goes without saying

I'm pretty bored a lot of times. If you're in the Greater Rochester or Finger Lakes regions of New York (and I guess I could go as far as Syracuse) I'm looking for something to do.

On July 31 I went to my doctor for a routine checkup while I was home for a visit. There was a rash and a lump on my left elbow that had been there for a couple weeks. I wasn't terribly concerned about it, but I figured since I was in that the doctor could have a look at it. Thinking it was probably an infected ingrown hair or something of that sort, he referred me to a surgeon to have it either lanced or biopsied.

Dr. Liang wasn't really sold on the idea of a biopsy. Initially he thought it was more of a case for a dermatologist, but he agreed to biopsy it at my request. In the OR we discovered that the lump was a swollen lymph node. I didn't even know that there was a lymph node there, but apparently there is. The doctor said he'd send it off to the lab, and the next morning I drove back to VA.

Thursday morning the 6th of July, at 10:13 AM, I received a phone call from my doctor. My initial thought was, "Crap, I'm late for work." It's sort of funny, looking back at it. If I had been properly awake, his hesitation would've tipped me off that something big was up. As it was, the realization didn't strike me until the second time that he said "lymphoma." He actually never used the word "cancer" while describing the situation to me. I'm not entirely sure why, he knows full well that I know that lymphoma is cancer.

The next few days were a whirlwind. Friday my mom and Uncle Bill came down to VA to pick me up, insisting that I was in no emotional state to be driving. To be perfectly honest, I think I'm handling it a touch better than she is. Saturday they drove me back. Sunday was spent visiting extended family, who mostly already knew through my mom. I don't know how I would've taken it if I had to tell each of them. I honestly hate having people worry about me. That's the hardest part of this whole thing, for me. There are so many people that want to help, but to me it's just a series of doctor visits to beat a nasty bug.

Monday morning was a full-body CAT scan. To start with, they had me drink a 2 liter barium milkshake, which tastes about like chalk-and-berry flavored runny yogurt. I insisted that the only way to salvage that heinous beverage would be 6 ounces of vodka, but the nurse wouldn't hear anything of it. During the scan they also give an IV radiopaque dye which causes a full-body flush and the sensation that you're going to wet yourself. Fun! The scan came up negative in all areas, which is pretty much awesome. That means that it hasn't started spreading to my internal lymph nodes.

Tuesday afternoon I visited with Dr. Rubins, the oncologist. My mom and my aunt were along. It makes them feel better to be there. A nurse did the preliminary check of my lymph nodes with me up on the exam table, and asked me to stay up there while we waited so the doctor could do his exam as soon as he came in. While laying on the exam table, I had a stroke of genius. "Mom, when the doctor comes in, pretend to be crying. I'll lay here on the table with my eyes closed. Titi, you say 'It progressed really quickly,' and look down." Well, it was a great plan, but when he came in we were all laughing about it and we never got to do it. All he could say was "We don't know much about it, it's a very unusual case." That's bad, since it's harder to predict how best to treat it, but there's a bright side: I could end up with a cancer named after me!

Wednesday was the most painful of my various tests thus far. Dr. Rubins took a bone marrow sample, which I mentioned earlier. The procedure was done under local anesthetic only, which is certainly not enough. He made a small incision in the back of my pelvis and stuck a needle in, drawing out what looked like blood. I can only describe the feeling as the physical embodiment of the pain of lost love. My essence is drawn out, leaving a painful empty feeling inside that it seems a thousand lifetimes couldn't heal. Oh god, now I sound emo. Anyways, it felt mostly better after about half an hour. The bone marrow sample will tell us whether there is any systemic involvement. The tests that they've finished so far have come back negative, but the final results don't come back until Friday at the earliest.

Yeah, I am kinda scared. I'm not really worrying about it too much. There's nothing I can do about it right now. I'm spending my days telling people, "I have cancer, lol!" and sorta enjoying the reactions I get. I'm more than a touch frustrated about having my life disrupted, missing work, being away from friends, and that whole jazz, but I'm pretty much stuck right now so I can't dwell on it. If anyone wants to come visit, drop me a line. I like people, and I could stand to have some around.

My Back

Wednesday I visited the oncologist and had a marrow sample taken. It is the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life. I'm actually looking for a woman who has both given birth and had marrow taken to compare them for me.

I should also note that this is the most unflattering picture of myself that I have ever allowed to be on the internet. To properly show off my bandage, my pants were at the exact level which makes my ass look worst. I may have to show you a better one eventually (if you're lucky).

I'm seeing an oncologist because three weeks ago today, I had a biopsy done on my left elbow (pictures to follow when I'm on a better connection). 7 June 2007 I recieved a call from my doctor informing me that I have lymphoma. I'm going to do a whole writeup of the past few weeks eventually, but right now I'm at Relay for Life trying to build up some karma for the months to come.

I'm doing just fine, and the prognosis is good.